Before I go into writing about this, here’s what I copy and pasted from the National Institute of Mental Health website:
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-adhd
ADHD is a developmental disorder characterized by an ongoing pattern of one or more of the following types of symptoms:
- Inattention, such as having difficulty paying attention, keeping on task, or staying organized
- Hyperactivity, such as often moving around (including during inappropriate times), feeling restless, or talking excessively
- Impulsivity, such as interrupting, intruding on others, or having trouble waiting one’s turn
It is common for people to show these behaviors some of the time. However, for people with ADHD, the behaviors are frequent and occur across multiple situations, such as at school, at home, at work, or with family and friends.
I have never been diagnosed with ADHD. I never thought that I had it, so therefore I never saw a psychiatrist. The traits I had were always looked at in a negative light. Impulsive, job hopper, multi-passionate. And then I get burned out and people don’t understand why.
I would get bored at jobs if I was there for more than 8 months. I’d start a hobby and become obsessed with it and then drop it after some time. There are so many books I want to write and businesses I want to start and hobbies I actually want to continue. Languages to learn. So much to consume and not enough time. Maybe this is why I thought I would be dead by 30. I understand that’s morbid but that’s the mindset I had for like 10+ years.
One day as a joke (it was either me or Kristen) mentioned that I have ADHD. Because I need coffee or an Alani (Cherry Slush) to stay focused. When I say “need” I mean need. Like it’s become an addiction (lecture me later). My brain has always moved a million miles a minute, I just didn’t think it had to do with anything. Genuinely, I always just chalked it up to I can’t commit to anything and that it was an issue I had to figure out.
I was terrible in school. School was never for me. I told everyone around me that I was just “bad at school” but wasn’t sure what that meant. School was not catered to someone who has an ADHD brain, and I’ve gone my whole life undiagnosed.
When me having ADHD was mentioned as a joke, I actually started to look into it because I wasn’t 100% sure what it meant. I consumed articles and videos and talked to others who also have it. I felt so completely seen it was crazy. I didn’t even know really what ADHD was and then I found out I was hitting every mark for it. And not going to lie, it makes me feel better.
It makes me feel better because this whole time I thought it was me and something was wrong with me and these were all my negative traits. Now I can look up ways other people cope and how to figure out a new world where I don’t have to be so frantic all the time. I do wish I realized this earlier so I could have helped myself much sooner, but I’m glad I’m figuring this out now.
There are so many things that come with ADHD. It affects so much of our lives from relationships, to school, to learning, planning and organizing, focus, attention span, etc. It looks different on everyone. A handful of people aren’t even diagnosed until they’re adults.
I don’t have a problem with organization. That’s actually something I excel in. I do, however, have an issue with keeping up with family and friends, being multi-passionate, job hopping, my focus, school things, discipline. My whole life I’ve been labeled the “impulsive” person. Not in a positive way. It was always negative. So, of course in my head, it was just a terrible trait I had. Researching ADHD has made me feel so much better about things. Even my negative traits because now there’s understanding behind them, and now I can adjust.
Anyway! I’m rambling. I didn’t have a goal with this blog post. I just recently realized I had ADHD and wanted to talk about it. Next stop: a psychiatrist.
