365 days ago I publicly came out as transgender. And boy has it been a wild ride since. And then two weeks later I started testosterone.
Originally, I came out to my wife, close friends, and immediate family in September 2024, and was closeted until March 2025, when I made the announcement. [you can read my coming out story here] And I know some people have their opinions about “well why do you even need to come out at all?” but it was right for me to make a post about it. It was easier for me to essentially make a mass email so everyone got the memo. I knew it was “juicy” at the time and it would be talked about and sent in people’s group chats, and that’s what I relied on. Word would get out faster, rather than me having to constantly reintroduce myself to every single person I met. Also, those who don’t understand why you have to “come out” just don’t want you to bring attention to yourself. I will always do the opposite.
This past year I have learned so much. About myself and the people I have in my life. It’s been so interesting watching myself change (physically and mentally) and how the world responds to me.
For those of you that didn’t know I’m trans, well hi, I am. Which means I don’t identify with my sex assigned at birth. The world seems divided on this topic, so I guess feel however you want to feel.
But since coming out, I almost immediately started testosterone which has worked WONDERS for me. I am so much happier in the way I look. It’s affected my confidence and the way I carry myself and the way I treat myself. I know more of who I am and who I want to be and what I want to tolerate. I’m more sure of myself. I feel more aligned. The sun shines brighter now that I take testosterone.
Currently, I pass. Which if you don’t know what that means, it’s when a trans person is perceived by others as a cisgender person. Really meaning that when you see me you see me as male. Those same people who say “they can always tell” when it comes to calling out trans people, are the SAME people who dap me up or call me Mr. Wes. You can’t tell, that’s the beauty of it for me.
I’ve watched the patriarchy change for me in real time. I constantly tell Kristen how weird the world is now that it’s switched in my favor. I want to be clear that I didn’t transition for the world to change for me, but I’ve just noticed it. I’ve received a lot more attention now than I ever have.
And despite me passing and getting treated like a man, there are STILL people who don’t use the correct pronouns or secretly wish I wasn’t who I was. I can’t change people. I’ve made peace with the fact that people are going to do whatever they want to do because we live in a selfish world. I use he/him pronouns. People still use they/them pronouns for me because they’re uncomfortable with using my correct pronouns. Not everyone is supportive, and it is what it is.
I’m living my best life. I’ve dreamed of being where I am right now. Nobody has to get it. Nobody has to understand. I am extremely happy with myself and my transition. It’s made me realize all the shit I took from people before and how I no longer do. There is nothing anyone can say to change this. You either get on board, or you don’t. It is that simple. My existence is not debatable.
Anyway, there’s been more positives than negatives this last year, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I’m so happy to be where I am and who I am. I’m grateful for the people I surround myself with. I’ve changed so much in the last year and I can’t wait to see what else is in store. This is only the beginning of my journey.
Wes is only 1 year old.
I can’t express how much transitioning changed my life. I know the media says differently, but you have to really know yourself to know that you’re trans and come to terms with it. The world would be such a better place if we could all love and accept each other.
Until then, I’m going to be open about my trans joy. It’s not something that should be stifled. I’m never going to introduce myself as a trans guy, but I will never shy away from it. What made me…me. A year ago I never even thought I’d be where I am now. I’m so proud of myself.
I also wouldn’t be where I am without my wife, Kristen. It’s crazy how support can actually give someone the confidence to pursue things. Just having someone in your corner really enhances someone’s life. So, thank you, to my favorite person in the world.
May the rest of my life look as beautiful as this last year.
